Pleasure, Shame & Power: Real Talk on Purity Culture and Latina Sexuality
- Jennie Velasco
- Oct 10
- 3 min read
Hola, amiga—pull up a chair. In this episode, the three of us wade into the deep end: sexual shame, religion, purity culture, the Latina martyr complex, and all the double standards that make us roll our eyes (and sometimes cry). We talk orgasms (and the very real orgasm gap), toys, consent, boundaries, and why reclaiming pleasure is about healing power—not performance.
“If sex and orgasms weren’t part of who we are, why were we made with the capacity for them?”
What We Grew Up Hearing—And Had to Unlearn
“Sex is dirty.” “Save it for marriage.” “Good girls don’t.” Catholic/Pentecostal upbringing, strict households, and zero real talk about consent, birth control, and safety shaped how many of us first met “the birds and the bees.”
Shame ≠ safety. We learned that shame was a control tool—handed down lovingly by anxious moms/abuelas, but still harmful.
Reframe: Pleasure can be sacred. Boundaries and consent are loving. Education is protection—not permission.
The Double Standard (We See It. We’re Tired.)
Men get praised for sexual “conquests.” Women get labeled. Pop culture feeds it: from the Jezebel trope to the “virginal bride.” We shout out Sex and the City (Samantha hive!), Easy A, and how Latina characters get hyper-sexualized while real-life Latinas are told to be silent and “pure.”
“If a woman acts like Samantha, she’s a ‘problem.’ If a man does it, he’s ‘the man.’”
Purity Culture, Patriarchy & Power
Purity narratives teach that women’s worth = silence, sacrifice, submission. We talk Mary Magdalene vs. “Madonna complex,” how colonial church culture policed bodies, and why pleasure is political (healthcare bias, abortion access, research dollars for ED vs. endometriosis…).
The Orgasm Gap Is Real
Research (and our own stories) show: in heterosexual sex, men climax more often than women. Causes? Lack of communication, partner education, and prioritizing his pleasure over hers. Bridging the gap: learn your body (solo or with toys), communicate specifics, make foreplay…foreplay.
“How can I tell a partner what I like if I’ve never learned it myself?”
Seasons, Bodies, and Health
Bodies change—pregnancy, postpartum, autoimmune stuff, cysts, peri-menopause. We normalize:
Scheduling intimacy (it can help anticipation).
Pain is a signal (endo/PCOS deserve real care).
Intimacy ≠ only sex—touch, conversation, presence count.
It’s okay if your relationship style evolves.
How We’re Reclaiming Pleasure (And You Can, Too)
Name the shame, then drop it. It protected someone once; it doesn’t have to rule you now.
Learn your body. Solo exploration, mindful touch, sensual movement, dance.
Talk about it. Clear consent, specific asks, safe words, check-ins.
Set boundaries. Privacy can be sacred; pleasure can be shared on your terms.
Own your season. Fatigue, pain, new meds, toddlers—whatever it is, your worth isn’t on pause.
“I love you—but I love me more.” —Samantha Jones (and also, us)
Join the Conversation
Are you healing from purity culture? Still giggly talking about sex? Do you schedule intimacy? Have tips for closing the orgasm gap? Tell us.
👉 DM us on IG: @listenmija_podcast or use the contact form at listenmijapod.com. Your stories help our community feel less alone.
Listen to the episode: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Amazon Podcasts | I Heart Radio
Don't forget to like, rate and subscribe!
Listen on Spotify here:
Listen on Apple here:
Comments